Ramble ramble

Tumblr is getting to be very habit-forming. I really need to stop finding ways to waste my life.

This might sound insanely trivial, but one of my goals for the not so distant future is to overhaul my wardrobe...or at least start. I know there are plenty of ways to express yourself, but I just hate that my clothes do absolutely nothing for me, stylewise. I look around and see all this cool stuff, and I'm like, wow, I really wish I'd thought of that. I know fashion is far from the most important thing in the world, but lately it's been clawing its way into my thought process and altering my interests. In other words, I'd like to get back into sewing. Get back, as in, when I was little, I knew how to sew. A little, anyway. But I like seeing how people take clothing that is super awesome but may not fight quite right, and just go, tear out some threads, and re-stitch to make everything work. That is fucking cool. I want to know how to do that. It's not a pointless skill.

So, in a way, I'm getting more into clothing and its aesthetic appeal for me. What am I into? Items that are simple yet charming, maybe with a vintage touch. I can't describe it, but it's definitely more interesting than what I actually wear.

I'm not trying to put myself down when I say I wish I had a better sense of style and dressed myself better. I don't think I tell people anything with what I wear, or pull off anything that could warrant a positive, even lasting impression. I'm dull on the outside, and while I don't see this as a horrible, unforgivable thing, it's definitely an aspect which demands improvement. I need to improve myself, inside and out. I get stuck in the doldrums so often, and it's like I don't have the energy to pull myself onto higher ground.

I want to experiment, to find what works for me (stylewise and living-wise). This is what makes me curious about the future. What can I do to improve myself, and after that, what can I do to improve the world around me? How can I consistently help out others, while juggling the tasks that make up the typical adult life? A career, household amenities, food, toilet paper, my health, my relationships?

I can be a much better person. Right now I'm just mediocre -- I'm friendly enough, I help people out in small ways when the situation calls for it. I get along well with my family and I stay out of trouble. Still, I also make mistakes, am lazy, forget things, lose things, and yell expletives at bad drivers. I'm facing the right direction, but I just need to figure out how to start moving, and keep moving. I hope I can reach my goals, no matter how simple and trifling some of them may be.